People say ‘Children are gifts from God’. Does it mean the more we have, the ‘wealthier’ we are? Or it is true, the more the merrier?

The moment you and your loving partner are moving on to the next stage in life called parenthood, this question definitely come across your mind at least once. Believe it or not, it triggers unconsciously as the couples are ready to become parents.

My god mother has only 1 daughter, not really that true to be exact. I heard she lost a son when he was very young at the age of ten or less. I was too naive and small to recall that incident. Her daughter grew up, got married and moved to another town. She used to be a very independence lady but things were slightly different when my god father was diagnosed with diabetes. They moved in to stay with their only daughter. My god sister is only a housewife and she took care of them very well until their last breathe. Whenever I visited them at my god sister’s place, I could sense that my god mother was very much happier there at new place; playing with her grandchildren and managing her ‘little’ orchard at the backyard. She always offers the home grown vegetables for us to take back.

Of another relative family, a lady at her golden age that I know of, by hierarchy I called her ‘great auntie’. Great auntie has two sons and one daughter (as I recalled). Both sons got married and have their own families. Otherwise happened to the daughter, she was still singles in her 40s and she stayed with her mom (my great auntie) and took care of each other. Both sons are generous, they had made many moves to invite their mother to move in with them. The youngest son was working in overseas and great auntie didn’t fancy the life there. While the oldest son, he is running a business in another town just 100 km away but great auntie still preferred to live in the old house left behind by her husband with her only daughter.

Although I am yet a parent, I do not fancy the figure. I shall leave that to God to decide. I am a strong believer of what is yours is always yours no matter what and vice versa. Whatever the figure that applies to us, the most important part is to raise up the child well. From my observation, quality will exceed the quantity and the bonding between the siblings shall be nurtured as young as possible. The following are the points I noted:

• The age gap between/among the siblings preferably not to broad. For instance, sisters of two between the age gap of 2-4 years allow them to communicate in the same frequency as they usually share the same childhood. They could be sharing the same toys or games and friends as well. The ‘same’ that attracts.
• As far as home-culture is concern, try to help and groom the eldest sibling be an ‘invisible’ (pseudo) leader. Realizing or not, the younger siblings have the inclination to behave like the elder sibling. If the so-called leader always do well in exam, help around at home; the younger siblings will tend to follow. Example by leadership.
• Education; in the event whereby finance and children’s interest permits, try to provide an almost equal education level. For example, in a family of three, the eldest daughter went to university; the other two must at least have up to college education. When they went to college, this is the most critical platform preparing for the future; by educating on how to perform deep thinking, analysis, socialize, contribute to society and many more. The course they studied is not a big deal but thinking maturely is what matters. Rationale thinking will help to make better decision in life.
• Children will be less pressured if parents do not voice out their comparison among the siblings. Every child is unique; they have their own strength and weakness, as parents I believe the role is as a coach not a judge. Listen to their needs. In extreme cases, this scenario may cause one of the siblings to isolate the feeling or thought from the rest until he/she achieves the success. In other words, when this sibling is in trouble, none of the family members realized and extended help. This may tear the family/sibling’s relationship further away. Give pleasure childhood not pressure.

Hope the above give some pointers to us (serves as reminder to myself!) and let’s make this world a better place for the younger generation!

TrackBack URI for this entry

Comments (3)

...
written by Ed , May 18, 2008

God sends children and God also sends rain. Both are gifts but if there is too much shouldn't we use rubbers?

:-)

Grace and Pace,
Ed

report abuse

vote down

vote up

Votes: +1

...
written by Sue , May 20, 2008

Children are gifts from God due to their innocence which reflects purity with honesty. These values reflect/represent god's virtues and thus are a great representation of God in our homes. However, during the path/journey of them growing from one phase of life to the next, they need love & guidance to nuture the young minds into the RIGHT PATH whilst grooming them to be STREET SMART.

report abuse

vote down

vote up

Votes: +0

...
written by YP , May 20, 2008

And don't let the children be an extension of the parents... simply let them become who they really are

report abuse

vote down

vote up

Votes: +1